COME ON OVER, COME ON OVER BABY

we are now at: http://woofbuzz.wordpress.com/

My dogs on the streets, my dogs in the hood, my dogs in the project up to no good

Think back to 1992. 1995. 1998. Now the summer of 1998. Maybe downloading movies existed then, I don't know I was 13 and lazy, but if you're from San Antonio, Texas and had my mother, you were at the Santikos theater that for whatever reason let you use counterfeit movie tickets that were bought at the gas station.  

Sometimes the cute baby-mustached boys from my middle school who looked like they were in gangs but really weren't would hang outside of Santikos all day, and because I wasn't yet at the point where "being myself" was as cool/cute/mysterious/skinny as I would have preferred, I would sneak into movies of my choice. I figured I was way too old to even be allowed into Babe: Pig in the City, but for whatever reason, I HAD TO SEE IT. And from 1992 onward, I HAD TO SEE every talking animal movie that graced the big screen. 

I would go on to see Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (it was incredible), Milo and Otis, Dr. Doolittle (1 and 2), and Men in Black (1 and 2). The animal didn't have to be protagonist for me to see it (MIB), but it helped (HB). At the time, these movies were all as cool/cute/funny as I had hoped for, but now I've got some beef with them. Let's start with a clip from HB2:

You might be thinking: this clip needs no explanation! It's doggone good! In which case, let's look at a clip from BPITC:

Now you might be thinking: HOLY SHIT THEY ARE MOVING THEIR MOUTHS! THEY'RE JUST LIKE US EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE DIRTY ROTTEN ANIMALS! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! 

One way or another, you're going to have a preference, and it's going to say a lot about you. Choose one and you're pegged as having no imagination, complacent with exaggerated voice-overs. Maybe a lousy kisser with an ok personality. Choose the other and you're on the slippery slope of sending all of your friends talking baby clips where their mouths (lips) move. Maybe you've been called freaky once before. 

I know what I prefer, but that's not to say the right dog/cat/goose/pig couldn't change my mind. Or, if you're a dude who hung out at Santikos between 1992-1998 and wore some kind of jersey, PLEASE GET IN TOUCH. 

This weak in SNL - 2/12/11

this is the first in what will (for the most part) be a weekly post of the least shitty part of SNL. i cannot stop watching that show even though it's 94% awful. this is from the episode that russell brand hosted. his monologue was so strange.